August

I vote August as my least favorite month of this summer. Ugh. I have done more cleaning in the past week then in the past year. Not only am I cleaning our new place, but we obviously had to clean our old place (to get our deposit moved), AND, one of the homes I supervise is moving to a new location which means overseeing the cleaning and moving of yet another house (this one with 4 highly active residents all in one day!). Yuck.

So, Friday, I crashed. :) I got home, Ryan was at work, and I let myself become overwhelmed by self-pity. It was a pity party complete with freshly baked (from the package!) cinnamon cookies. Here's why:

1. I had to go back and reclean certain items at our old place which was the last thing I wanted to do AND it really, really frustrated me (especially since I know they were cleaned well because my MOM did it! ugh).

2. The new carpet will be in this Wednesday. So, that means that everything we've unpacked (and I had to get somewhat settled in the past week, ya know?) has to be moved on to the following floors: laundry room, bathroom, kitchen, or man cave. NOT Wednesday, but Tuesday, which means a night of no furniture or anything in the living room that has no carpet. Joy. Then, I might actually be able to find our toaster, our plates, our silverware, and our utensils.

3. #3 needs to be taken with a grain of salt because I DO REALIZE HOW INCREDIBLY LUCKY WE ARE to live rent-free. However, I did not want to move to this new house. Wait, I did want to move HERE, but only because I didn't have any choice but to move out of the other place. It is a great house, but I was also living in at the other place because of the 4 residents that I have known for 7 years (and some staff I have known that long too). My role there was comfortable--I knew where to park, who to ask to move their car, knew who was making noises upstairs, etc. etc. HERE--the staff and residents are great, but they're not mine. :( It's uncomfortable being "the new girl"--I really never had to experience that at our last house (FRB) becasue I was always one of the longest term people. Here I don't know staff names. I don't know sounds. I don't know the residents. I don't know where to park. I don't know whose job it is to take the garbage out. I don't know whose getting the mail. I don't know if Tytan's barking is driving people crazy....and they don't know me. So, I'm trying. This type of living situation always makes me worry about what other people think--something I'm very good at doing. Over-analyzing and worrying that people are upset or questioning the way I'm doing things. The move has made me want to move ON and out. We're grateful for the financial situation this allows us, but we definitely have a goal to move out as soon as possible (a year?!).

So, I was able to go to bed and wake up with a better perspective yesterday, but it's still there.

Sorry for the rant--I'll blog about the rest of the weekend later with no complaining. :)